please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
