Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
