Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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