She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize