Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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