So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
