dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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