but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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