So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
