I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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