I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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