Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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