I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
