I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I've blown a few things in my day
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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