I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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