pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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