youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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