Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
