i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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