would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
