Where did you get a picture of my penis
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i believe in u and ur pee
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
