I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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