i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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