nut hugger
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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