You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
