One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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