what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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