I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
