it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
