Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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