I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
