that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
not ubering you a puppy
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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