Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
