He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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