I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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