come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
