So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
