Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
