This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Boobs are out for the taking
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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