she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
