"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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