I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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