I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
