I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
