sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
