So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize