Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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