I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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