you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
