Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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