its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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