Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
