Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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