why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
