I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
