Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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