I must be too annoying 4 u.
did you get engaged???
I wish I could teleport
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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