remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
