So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i think my cat just said my name.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize