I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
