I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
