I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
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