So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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