I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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